“I just heard that London has sold its bendy buses to Malta because the buses were unable to negotiate the narrow streets of London. Now, forgive me if I am missing something here, but if they cannot get down the wide, paved, double yellow lined streets of London, just how are they going to cope with the narrow streets of Malta? And will any of these monstrous buses be seconded to Gozo? I mean, if you got on one in Gozo and walked to the back seat of the bus you’d already be in your destination, such is the size of Gozo.

But that is not what I am writing about. As the “new kid on the block” in Gozo, I am learning all sorts of things about Gozitan life to ensure my survival here and I thought I’d pass on the benefits of my experience for the edification of other newcomers to the island.

First though, I must mention the one thing that has always got up my indignant American nose is the opinion that all Americans are geographically inept and unable to point out where they are on a world map. Not true. But I shamefully admit that I never heard of Gozo until coming here recently. I was hankering to move back to a Mediterranean island when my friend piped up and said, ‘What about Gozo?’ ‘Gozo? I’m not looking to move to another planet, just an island in the Mediterranean.’

And thus, I discovered one of the best kept secrets of the Mediterranean.

One of the first things I noticed was how utterly friendly the Gozitan people are and the unusually close relationship they have with America, New York in particular. Outside the borders of the United States, this is probably the only country I have been in where it is “okay” to be American. I just have to look at the names on the houses, “Stars and Stripes”, “God Bless America,” “Lone Star,” etc, to know I will not be considered a hostile invader. Whew.

But why is everyone here so friendly? Well, I think I know why: the size of the island. I mean, you cannot go anywhere on this tiny island without bumping into someone you know. So think about it, you really do not want to make people unhappy because if you do, you’ll constantly be bumping into them on a weekly basis. Unless of course, you put yourself under voluntary house arrest. Moreover, if you accept a date with a man on the 303 bus route and it does not go well, you’ve no other bus out of Qala (where I am domiciled) than the 303. Think about that.

Apart from the friendliness of the Gozitans, is the astounding amount of trust they have that the island is not awash with criminals. Where else in the world would you find cars sitting outside, windows down and keys in the ignition? Or house doors with the keys left in the outside locks (perfect way to never lose your keys)?

What amazes me even more about this implicit trust is that most of the Gozitans have lived in New York, or most of their relatives have. New York is a very aggressive dog-eat-dog jungle of humanity. A place if you lose sight of your child for more than a few seconds, that child is likely to be kidnapped and sold on e-Bay with a free bag of enriched plutonium in less than a couple hours. The Gozitans return from such an environment as that, to this small, quiet island where keys in locks are not an issue. Amazing.

This brings to mind the proposal of building a tunnel or a bridge to connect Malta and Gozo. Apart from the excitement and charm of arriving at Mgarr, peering down on the sparkling clear waters of the Mediterranean as the ferry majestically swings into the harbour, what will this do to the crime figures which seem pretty non-existent to me? If one were to steal a car or a child on Gozo, he or she certainly would not have the option of a fast getaway using the Gozo Ferry.

Gozo is a gem in the Mediterranean and in my opinion if you want to come, you must savor Gozo like a fine wine – no speeding through tunnels or bridges faster than a neutrino. No, Gozo is worth it. Take the ferry.”

Ms Bobbi Jones

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